I Think I'm Being Watched...
Isn't it funny that once you start, you just can't stop and once you stop, you just can't start?
Haha ok that was for free. Was mulling over whether to drop in lyrics from a song for my second post since my return to BlogLand but then I just watched the Truman Show with my dad on Ch5 and as I was sitting here mulling like I was he just said something that just made me go, hey, bingo! That's what I'll write about! So yes, judos for this entry goes to my dad. Whom I never ever wanna watch another movie with again (this is the thousandth time I'm saying it so obviously I don't really mean it.) Wanna know why? Will save for another blog, propbably the next time I watch another movie with him.
Anyway, I think the Truman Show's one of the best movies I've ever watched in my entire life. It's well-written, well-acted and generally, the whole idea of being the unknowing star of a daytime (and nighttime) soap is just way too interesting and original.
Guess what?
You're the star of one of these too!
I like to imagine God's office kinda like this huge room stacked from wall to wall and floor to ceiling with billions of TVs (kinda justifies my TV addiction, doesn't it?), and every TV represents one of us. God's the director of this movie of our lives. Don't believe me? Check the Bible! It's Jeremiah 29:11! God's got plans for each and everyone of us!
And oh, how He loves each and everyone of us! I can imagine the director in the movie (played superbly by the ever-reliable Ed Harris) developing such a bond with his unknowing star. Watching him from birth, his first steps, his first day at school, his first kiss...
I think God loves us a whole lot more! While this director was content to just watch Truman go through life with all his ups and downs, the other Director decided that we needed help in our lives... and got directly involved on the set of our life story itself by sending His Son Jesus to save us and deliver us from our sins! And here's the best part... He didn't use any special effects! It was all REAL!
Here's what truly blows my mind. The Truman Show had only one star. The director had all his attention (together with the rest of the cast and crew) on Truman. God's watching a coupla billion of us! WOW! And He does it ALL AT THE SAME TIME! Say it again, backwards! WOW! (Thanks Jeremy) Now don't ask me how He does that. You wanna save up some questions for heaven (Thanks Chris Rice). In any case, I don't know how He does it anyway so there's really no point asking me now, is there? :)
Imagine God watching and nodding in approval as you take your first steps. They're unsteady, and after a few you fall flat on your bum. His eyebrows knit together a little tighter and He mumbles, "C'mon... get up. Walk. You can do it." Slowly, you start to climb back to your feet. "That's it. C'mon... up, up, up..." A few more angels gather to watch as slowly, you stand up. "Ok, ok, that's it. Now, walk... walk!" And you put one baby foot infront of the other... and then the other foot... and then the other... and pretty soon you're sprinting. And a big, broad smile breaks out on God's face as the angels hi-five one another in the background and cheer for you.
That's Him laughing heartily as you get your face full of cream from the birthday cake at your 5th birthday. That's Him reaching out His hand to you tenderly when you fell off the bike and scraped your knee when learning how to cycle for the first time. That's Him crying with you when your heart was broken by that girl or guy. That's Him cheering and screaming together with the rest of the angels and waving banners with your name on it when you gave your heart to Him. That's Him grieving when you told a lie. That's Him blushing and yet bursting with pride as He watches you get married. That's Him weeping and mourning with you when your loved ones passed on.
I know I've let my imagination take a bit of stretch, but this the point I want to make. Through every moment of our lives, He's there. Not just watching. He's there with us. Real. Just waiting for us to taste and see that the Lord is good. The Word says He rejoices over us with singing. He delights in us. We are the apple of His eye.
And you know what?
You don't have to be a star, baby, to be in His show.
Somebody's watching that lonely heart inside
Somebody's watching ain't missed a tear you've cried
Somebody's watching even the dark can't hide you
Somebody's watching you
You know that
Somebody's watching you
Somebody's Watching, Chris Rice
Monday, February 09, 2004
Saturday, February 07, 2004
The Return
Heya people.
I'm BAAAACK... hahaha. Ok. Yes, yes, I know it's been a long time but... yes? You over there with your hand raised? You have a question? Sure, go ahead! Can you throw rotten tomatoes at me? Errr... ah I see someone else in the back there has his hand raised. Yes sir, your question? Can you throw week old socks... Yes, you, young lady over there. I see you have your hand raised as well. What's that in your hand? Mouldy bak kwa leftover from Chinese New Year? Oh. LAST year's Chinese New Year. Ok, to the three of you, and to everyone else who has their hands raised. I have just one word for you. NO.
Alright alright. I know it's been a long time since I last blogged. So long that everyone actually remembers the date of my last blog because they find it amazing that I can put off blogging for that long. Well evidently I can, I'm a man of patience and discipline. You, sir, over there. Please. The next time you want to puke, kindly do it in a plastic bag. Thank you. Ok ok, fine, so I've been lazy and the biggest procrastinator on earth. Yes, yes. That's the truth.
Yup.
Uh huh.
Ok alright alright, stop booing already. And they tell me honesty is the best policy...
SO... anyway, I'm back. It's been a whirlwind 2 months for me. Falling sick right after my return from East Timor, Christmas production, back to school... it's just been total madness. Or at least, I felt it was total madness. After Christmas, I told myslef that I need a break, I DESERVE a break, so that's exactly what I did. Took a break from any forms of work outside of what was neccessary. Or rather, what I felt was neccessary. Some more honesty coming up (ok DON'T BOO, I feel bad enough as it is). Looking back, it's kinda sad cos I think I really wasted my January away. I wasn't bothered about schoolwork, I wasn't bothered about ministry, I wasn't even really bothered about God for a while. I actually thought God wouldn't mind me taking a short break. DUH. Evidently He does mind me taking a break from Him because I've had people reminding and reminding me to firstly: UPDATE MY BLOG. Yup. To those who were constantly chasing and harrassing me to update, thanks. You were all part of the restoration process.
And then I've had people like Sis Lily coming to me and telling me just off the bat that I need to get to work. Ouch. Talk about a reality pinch. And of course, to quote my favourite Psalm: "Where can I go from Your Spirit? Where can I go from Your presence? If I go up to the heavens (evidently, not where I was), You are there; if I make my bed in the depths (that's more like it), You are there. ... How precious to me are Your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand. When I awake, I am still with You." (Ps. 139:7-8, 17-18) God was always near me to remind me to draw near. But guess that's where Pastor Rick's sermon on Listening to the Voice of God comes in. I always heard, but I seldom listened.
The reminders have been coming hard and fast, but I guess tonight at the J21 rally was really the turning point for me. I've been looking forward to this 'reunion' (so Survivor) for quite a while now, I guess for all the wrong reasons though. Haha. Yup, I couldn't wait to hear that crazy awesome drummer play again! Hahaha... (ok the booing's starting again... sounds like Jason... hahaha KIDDING!) I know it sounds totally warped but hey, it's true. I was looking forward to hearing the band again. And I was looking forward to seeing the COOS/LH East Timor team.
So imagine how I felt when the first thing Cornelius (the worship leader) says is something along the lines of: "You're not here for the worship, for the sermon, for the testimonies. You're here for God." I'm like... woah God... easy on the conscience. And of course, by some absolutely DIVINE appointment, we didn't have a full band on stage! It was an acoustic, mixed-down set and the crazy awesome drummer was nowhere to be seen. Well, well. God 1, Elvin 0.
Watching the video clips and listening to the testimonies of those who went out, I just felt this twinge in my heart... an old, familiar twinge. A tug that I first felt during the J21 conference in December. And I realised what it was. It was the very heartbeat of God. Missions. And then I just saw this picture in my mind... a huge heart (not just the shape, mind you, the biological 3D version of it, with all the aortas and what-nots) linked to many other small hearts, all beating to the same rhythm. And I felt God begin to explain it to me. If we feel our wrists or some point on our necks (dunnow where, forgot all my first aid training), we can feel a pulse. And that pulse is beating IN TANDEM with the heart. In the picture I saw, God's heart is the big heart. Our hearts are the small ones. If we're linked to Him, our hearts will beat IN TANDEM, just like we can feel the pulse elsewhere in our bodies but it beats together with our heart.
OUR HEARTBEAT WILL BE GOD'S HEARTBEAT!
And what's God's heartbeat? MISSIONS!
Wow. God 1 million, Elvin 0.
And then Pastor Rick comes up to preach. What does he preach on? Listening ot the Voice of God. How we need to set aside time to listen to the voice of God. How we need to obey, lest God stops talking. The whole sermon can be summarised in 3 words, courtesy of the inspiring blind youth pastor who led a team to Kelantan for Fever100: Listen. Obey. Go. Bam, bam, bam. God's scoring innings like nobody's business.
Well, if that doesn't convince me to really re-focus and come back to God, I really dunno what will. I'm thankful God still speaks to hearts and lives today. He spoke through simple, ordinary people. Friends, leaders, unknown worship leaders, pastors. And because He speaks, I'm back here writing today.
So. Final score: God three thousand and four hundred and fifty two gadzillion quadrillion trillion billion million. Elvin?
Zero.
Thank God.
Heya people.
I'm BAAAACK... hahaha. Ok. Yes, yes, I know it's been a long time but... yes? You over there with your hand raised? You have a question? Sure, go ahead! Can you throw rotten tomatoes at me? Errr... ah I see someone else in the back there has his hand raised. Yes sir, your question? Can you throw week old socks... Yes, you, young lady over there. I see you have your hand raised as well. What's that in your hand? Mouldy bak kwa leftover from Chinese New Year? Oh. LAST year's Chinese New Year. Ok, to the three of you, and to everyone else who has their hands raised. I have just one word for you. NO.
Alright alright. I know it's been a long time since I last blogged. So long that everyone actually remembers the date of my last blog because they find it amazing that I can put off blogging for that long. Well evidently I can, I'm a man of patience and discipline. You, sir, over there. Please. The next time you want to puke, kindly do it in a plastic bag. Thank you. Ok ok, fine, so I've been lazy and the biggest procrastinator on earth. Yes, yes. That's the truth.
Yup.
Uh huh.
Ok alright alright, stop booing already. And they tell me honesty is the best policy...
SO... anyway, I'm back. It's been a whirlwind 2 months for me. Falling sick right after my return from East Timor, Christmas production, back to school... it's just been total madness. Or at least, I felt it was total madness. After Christmas, I told myslef that I need a break, I DESERVE a break, so that's exactly what I did. Took a break from any forms of work outside of what was neccessary. Or rather, what I felt was neccessary. Some more honesty coming up (ok DON'T BOO, I feel bad enough as it is). Looking back, it's kinda sad cos I think I really wasted my January away. I wasn't bothered about schoolwork, I wasn't bothered about ministry, I wasn't even really bothered about God for a while. I actually thought God wouldn't mind me taking a short break. DUH. Evidently He does mind me taking a break from Him because I've had people reminding and reminding me to firstly: UPDATE MY BLOG. Yup. To those who were constantly chasing and harrassing me to update, thanks. You were all part of the restoration process.
And then I've had people like Sis Lily coming to me and telling me just off the bat that I need to get to work. Ouch. Talk about a reality pinch. And of course, to quote my favourite Psalm: "Where can I go from Your Spirit? Where can I go from Your presence? If I go up to the heavens (evidently, not where I was), You are there; if I make my bed in the depths (that's more like it), You are there. ... How precious to me are Your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand. When I awake, I am still with You." (Ps. 139:7-8, 17-18) God was always near me to remind me to draw near. But guess that's where Pastor Rick's sermon on Listening to the Voice of God comes in. I always heard, but I seldom listened.
The reminders have been coming hard and fast, but I guess tonight at the J21 rally was really the turning point for me. I've been looking forward to this 'reunion' (so Survivor) for quite a while now, I guess for all the wrong reasons though. Haha. Yup, I couldn't wait to hear that crazy awesome drummer play again! Hahaha... (ok the booing's starting again... sounds like Jason... hahaha KIDDING!) I know it sounds totally warped but hey, it's true. I was looking forward to hearing the band again. And I was looking forward to seeing the COOS/LH East Timor team.
So imagine how I felt when the first thing Cornelius (the worship leader) says is something along the lines of: "You're not here for the worship, for the sermon, for the testimonies. You're here for God." I'm like... woah God... easy on the conscience. And of course, by some absolutely DIVINE appointment, we didn't have a full band on stage! It was an acoustic, mixed-down set and the crazy awesome drummer was nowhere to be seen. Well, well. God 1, Elvin 0.
Watching the video clips and listening to the testimonies of those who went out, I just felt this twinge in my heart... an old, familiar twinge. A tug that I first felt during the J21 conference in December. And I realised what it was. It was the very heartbeat of God. Missions. And then I just saw this picture in my mind... a huge heart (not just the shape, mind you, the biological 3D version of it, with all the aortas and what-nots) linked to many other small hearts, all beating to the same rhythm. And I felt God begin to explain it to me. If we feel our wrists or some point on our necks (dunnow where, forgot all my first aid training), we can feel a pulse. And that pulse is beating IN TANDEM with the heart. In the picture I saw, God's heart is the big heart. Our hearts are the small ones. If we're linked to Him, our hearts will beat IN TANDEM, just like we can feel the pulse elsewhere in our bodies but it beats together with our heart.
OUR HEARTBEAT WILL BE GOD'S HEARTBEAT!
And what's God's heartbeat? MISSIONS!
Wow. God 1 million, Elvin 0.
And then Pastor Rick comes up to preach. What does he preach on? Listening ot the Voice of God. How we need to set aside time to listen to the voice of God. How we need to obey, lest God stops talking. The whole sermon can be summarised in 3 words, courtesy of the inspiring blind youth pastor who led a team to Kelantan for Fever100: Listen. Obey. Go. Bam, bam, bam. God's scoring innings like nobody's business.
Well, if that doesn't convince me to really re-focus and come back to God, I really dunno what will. I'm thankful God still speaks to hearts and lives today. He spoke through simple, ordinary people. Friends, leaders, unknown worship leaders, pastors. And because He speaks, I'm back here writing today.
So. Final score: God three thousand and four hundred and fifty two gadzillion quadrillion trillion billion million. Elvin?
Zero.
Thank God.
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